2015 New Year's Resolutions - A Review and Prep for 2016 New Year's Resolutions

As I started this blog last year, I set out three categories for my 2015 New Year's resolutions: personal, professional, and academic.

In the personal realm, I had six goals: knit at least two patterns from books I already own using yarn I've already purchased; lose weight and maintain that weight at 159 pounds or less by next year; exercise at least two days per week; decide whether or not to pursue a technical writing certificate concurrently with my MFA; submit to least three literary journals by the end of the spring semester; and plan a trip around the world.

Of the six personal goals, I accomplished four.

I did knit at least two patterns from books I already own with yarn I've already purchased. Those patterns were the $5 in Paris, Baby Cozy, and the Firefly Dishcloth.

I did not lose weight, but considering my engagement ended and life was thrown into complete chaos, I'm happy I maintained my current weight of 180 pounds and didn't go up much further.

I'm not exercising two days a week, but I am walking to and from work at least three days a week. I'm also consistently getting at least 10,000 steps per day.

I decided to pursue the technical writing certificate and I should finish by May or June 2016.

I submitted to several literary journals, resulting in three publications (two in the same week)!

I did not plan a trip around the world, but I will revisit it once my two year commitment to my current job expires.

My five professional goals were to continue improving my editing skills and knowledge of AP Style; improve workflow processes; find more opportunities for professional development; be the best mentor I can be; and to figure out how to keep my job while taking a trip around the world.

I think the professional goals were the least completed, as I decided the best way to improve workflow processes and find more opportunities for professional development was to pursue a new opportunity closer to my family.

I'm really happy in my new position. I do some editing, but it's more office management and organization. Again, it's a better fit; the job moves faster and I am trusted to do my job, which is what made my last job a poor fit. I'm not looking at doing a world trip for a few more years since I've decided to come back home.

With the academic goals, I set four. I only accomplished one. My four goals were to apply for graduate school scholarships in January; apply for the staff scholarship in August; maintain a 3.5 GPA; and figure out how to maintain my staff tuition discounts while traveling the world.

I did not apply for scholarships - school or staff. I didn't feel I had a connection with any of the professors at that time, and I didn't feel I could trust any of the professors to write and turn in a letter of recommendation on time. I didn't apply for the staff scholarship in August because I knew I was resigning from my position. Since I no longer work where I worked, the staff discount is moot.

I did, however, maintain my GPA as a 4.0, which made me really happy considering I was working full time and really busy moving at the beginning of the fall semester.

Looking back at the goals I set and met and set and missed, I am certain the problem is there were too many goals in too many categories. The goals that became priorities were the goals that had the most importance to me.

For that reason, instead of three categories, I'm going to go with three goals for the year. It's easier to keep track of and it's easier to envision the final result.

My New Year's Resolutions for 2016 are as follows:

1. Knit (or finish) at least two projects from kits or Craftsy classes. I'm working on Drachenfels and should finish it shortly after the New Year. I have other projects like Lunaris, Tunisian Crochet Multi-Garment, Tree of Life Afghan, Beyond Basic Broomstick Lace (class), My First Raglan Cardigan (class, plus I bought the kit), Shawlscapes by Stephen West (class), and Choose Your Own Sweater Adventure (class), among others.
2. I want to finish my MFA thesis by the end of next year. I have sent in my thesis proposal and I'm waiting to see if it was approved or not. I'm hoping to finish by August, but I'm giving myself an extra semester in case my proposal is not accepted in January.
3. Unread Books Project. Moving twice in less than two months, I realized I have a lot of books, many of which I have dragged state to state, all unread. So, to remedy this, the Unread Books Project is me picking at least one book per week to read for fun and/or pleasure from the stack of books that have sat and sat and sat in my home. To achieve this goal, I will read 45 to 52 books over the course of the year and do a biweekly or monthly report on what I've read. I also want to recall when and where I bought the book (or was gifted the book) when writing up which book or books I've finished.

Let's see how 2016 goes.

Eep! Missed Sunday - Knitting Updates

I don't know where my weekend went, and I didn't mean to miss Sunday's deadline.

I finished blocking the Honeycomb Cowl and I am cruising along on Drachenfels. I'm off on the stitch count. I give up.

Echoes of Bullying: More Than 20 Years Later

Bullying has gotten a lot of media attention recently. The fact that there is an active movement to push back against what was once thought of as "kids being kids" is amazing. However, for me, it's too late.

My family moved around a lot when I was kid. Every time I went to a new school, I hoped against hope that maybe here, maybe this time, I'd make friends. That maybe for once I wouldn't be the target of everyone's hatred.

It never worked that way. I was always the odd duckling. I didn't watch the TV shows they did. I read a lot. I stood up for others.

I remember when we moved to Washington. I was riding high on that "new kid in school" glow. At recess, this group of popular girls ordered me to push this fat, unpopular boy in the mud during recess. It would cement my place with them. I would have friends. I would be popular.

I knew all this and I refused. It's funny how we look back on those moments and all the echoes that come after them. I could have been popular. Maybe for another week. Another day. I didn't pick that.

The echoes of the bullying and tormenting I experienced have marked who I am as a person. I don't trust people. I don't look back at my K-12 education with much happiness. I made a few friends here and there, but I was so lonely. I was so alone. I had some outlets - drama, music, reading, writing - but I was alone. I felt like such an outsider.

I threw myself into school. I could be praised for my grades. So I chased those for many, many years. I didn't do much with social things. I can count on one hand the number of sleepovers I went to.

It wasn't until college I felt I really belonged.

It wasn't until graduate school that I got anti-anxiety medication and was able to be around new groups of people and not feel like panicking. I talk a lot and part of it is a defense mechanism - if I control the conversation, the other person can't make fun of me to my face.

I'm 30 now and while I understand and have let go of a lot of what happened to me, I have to say "kids being kids" isn't okay. My entire life has been marked by desperately wanting to have and make and keep friends. As a result, I have stayed in the wrong relationships for far too long because I didn't want to be alone, because they knew that about me, and they used it to say no one else would ever want or love me. Because my peer group had been so awful to me, I believed it. Sometimes, I still believe it.

It's not just being made fun of for what you're wearing. It's the constant tormenting because you're a girl. Because you like to read. Because you speak up. Because you won't let anyone else take someone else down. Because you remember what it's like to be on the other side. Because you got breasts in seventh grade. Because you're odd. Because you're you.

This Halloween, it was great to see girls dressing up as Darth Vader. I saw at least three. When I did it almost twenty years ago, that kind of costuming choice made me weird. Made me a nerd. Made me a target.

Let's work on making the world a kinder and more welcoming place. One human being we interact with at a time.

Finals week!

I missed my regular Sunday posting because I was finishing up finals for two class. I have two more classes to go and it's been a crazy week at work.

I've had to prioritize and make decisions about what I have time to work on.

It doesn't help that I thought December 11 was a Saturday. It's a Friday, so I'm scrambling a bit to finish one of my final papers.

It'll all be better this weekend.

Also - news! I'm going to start podcasting about knitting with my friend from El Paso! It's going to be the Knit Two Together Podcast and we'll be starting either in late December or early January. Stay tuned!