Death Comes Slowly

With all the hooplah of sudden and unexpected death from car and plane crashes, house fires, and accidents, it's hard to face death when it comes slowly.

Our dog has had noticeable symptoms of canine lymphoma since November 2014. We did not get an official diagnosis until a few weeks ago, and we've been doing an aggressive round of chemotherapy in the hopes of extending her life.

Sleeping with her favorite toy - Tiger.

Unfortunately, this week we learned her white blood cells are very high and it's not a good idea to continue chemotherapy right now. The steroids make her extremely thirsty, which means we're having a lot more accidents in the house.

Her body is shutting down, little by little. She's spent most of this weekend sleeping on the tile floor because she's too hot to lay down on the bed. We're keeping the air conditioning at 70 degrees because any higher and she lays there and pants and pants and pants. It's heartbreaking. And we're freezing.

If we stick to steroids and pain medicine only, we're looking at one to two more months. We're hoping to make her as comfortable as possible and I'm hoping against hope that her white cells go down and we can restart the CHOP protocol next weekend. If not, well, it won't be overnight, but death will be here shortly.

No one told me dying would take this long. No one told me watching my dog die from lymphoma would break my heart this much.

Things I accomplished this weekend

Books I read (start to finish):
Divergent by Veronica Roth (4/5 stars)
Insurgent by Veronica Roth (4/5 stars)
A Boy Called It by Dave Pelzer (3/5 stars)
The Lost Boy by Dave Pelzer (2/5 stars)
A Brother's Journey by Richard Pelzer (2/5 stars)

I was in a bit of a "read for fun" mood. Not that the books I picked were particularly long or difficult, but I did manage to read five of them.

Started reading Allegiant by Veronica Roth. Pretty meh about it. Not super in love with the shift in point of view. Feels like it suffers from what I call "trilogy syndrome." Same thing happened with Hunger Games, but at least Insurgent had some (veiled) sex.

School
Finished everything for class for the week. Didn't get ahead on any reading. Wasn't really feeling it. Well aware I have many projects that aren't due until finals week and that if I keep putting them off, I will be a stressed out mess in three weeks.

Knitting
Started knitting a hat with yarn I was gifted. Knit a bit on a baby hat I'm making for my college roommate's baby. I need to finish it up and mail it off soon though.

Dog
Dealt with the dog having urinary incontinence: three pee spots carpet cleaned with the Bissel Green vacuum. We're trying disposable diapers. It's not going well.

The cancer is just unending. She's happy still, but her health, well, I mean, it's only a matter of time, but it's hard to watch her die.

Translation Project
Finally sat down and made the changes the author requested. Disagree with one change, we'll see how the writer takes it.

When I'm allowed to talk about publication and such, I will definitely have an update here.

Guild Wars 2
Played a few hours for fun. Miss my guild; they changed servers a few weeks ago, but I don't feel like paying for another transfer after less than two months on our current server, so I'm staying put for now.

Mini update

This past week has been midterms for me, so I have been rather busy. I still have a few discussion board posts to write and reply to before midnight, but overall, online classes are in good shape. The first chapter of my novel went over very well and several people wanted to see the second chapter as my second project for the course.

I am still working on my New Year's Resolution of using yarn and patterns I already own when making projects. I am almost done with the Bunny Blankie, but the daisy stitch is really repetitive and I don't think I'll have enough yarn to make the full 44-inch length. I needed a couple of weeks away from it because I was getting tired of the whole thing.

I did, however, finish the baby cozy, but I still have to sew on the hook and loop tape (Velcro) since I decided to forgo the buttons. I also started the hat that goes with the pattern, learning how to do an I-cord in the process. It's looking like 420 yards of sport weight yarn will be enough for the whole project, which did not take that long and if the Velcro modification works out well, then it may become my go-to baby gift.

I am working on incorporating more exercise into my week. The dog's daycare has new, longer hours, making it easier for me to get 20 to 30 minutes of exercise in before work. Since I made by twice-a-week workout goal for a month, I treated myself to a Fabletics outfit (full disclosure: I get $10 in credit if you sign up using that link).

I don't do buy from Fabletics often, and I've had one pair of leggings I bought have the crotch rip out during yoga, but overall, I've liked the outfits. It's a pick-me-up. It's harder than I thought to maintain exercise in my routine when I work full time and have four classes this semester. Then I come home to the invisible labor of making dinner, cleaning the house, doing laundry ... it's all exhausting.

The dog started limping on her other front paw on Tuesday and when my partner took her in to the vet on Thursday, the vet upped the dog's pain pills. The second round of chemo is a pill and done at home. We have to wear gloves and wash our hands since it's radioactive.

We took the dog on a three-mile walk yesterday. It's great to see her so happy and energetic. Well worth the cost of chemo to combat this canine lymphoma.

Today, I will knit at home instead of going to my knitting group because my knitting partner is visiting an ill family member, head over to the gym in my new outfit, go to Costco afterward, and work on homework and essays for the rest of the day. The weekends just seem to fly by.